Number 16

So this evening I had a bit of a fright...

After school the boys came home and did their chores, then played happily until swimming time. I took them and they happily played in the lesson as it was the last one before the Easter holidays - also they were in their pyjamas for half of it which they found highly amusing - and then it was shower, change and home for tea.

As it is so warm and they have a lovely hot meal in school everyday I decided to do them a picnic of sorts on the front room rug - ham and cheese rolls, yoghurt, grapes, crisps and a chocolate biscuit for being so good in swimming. This all seemed fine and nothing was untoward until Michael half way through his tea, jumped up from the floor and made a horrid gasping growling type noise and tied to run for the stairs, I called him back and as he tuned to me his face was completely purple, he grabbed at his throat and I realised he was choking, and couldn't breathe.

Now luckily for me I worked for a few years with my local council doing safe cycling, and we attended two yearly events called 'Top Drive' for colleges and 'Crucial Crew' for primary school leavers - at these events we worked with all the emergency services to show children/adults how to react in different emergency scenarios - well apparently some of this stuck. 

I remembered immediately (I could actually see the lovely paramedic Bryn showing us) that I needed to gab Michael on his chest with one arm and hit his back with the other in-between his shoulder blades to dislodge the blockage, well to hits and it was out - in fact it shot across the room. Michael then un-fazed stood and promptly ate the roll he had just spat up - I know I know, gross - and I cuddled him with all my might. He's fine now but gosh, what if I had had no idea what to do? it could of been much worse!

I thought I would take just five minutes and make you aware of this life saving technique - I think it is something, as parents, neighbours, friends and family we should all know!

For the gorgeous itty bitty babies under one years old:

1. If  baby can't breath, cough or cry - then this is a severe case ans you need to act quickly.

2. Check baby's airway, if you can see the obstruction then remove it, if not or it is too firmly lodged then you must proceed with back blows and chest thrusts.

3. Lay baby face down along your forearm toward the palm of your hand.

4. Lower your arm so that baby's head is lower than their bottom.

5. Support baby's head by holding their jaw with the arm/hand they are resting on, using your thumb and forefinger.

6. Give a back blow (hit) using the heel of your hand (the bottom by the wrist) to baby between the shoulder blades.

7. Glance at the baby's mouth to check for easily removable objects.

8. Give up to five back blows to dislodge the obstruction.

9. If the blockage still hasn't moved then turn baby face-up with baby's head lower than it's bottom.

10. Place your index and middle fingers in the middle of baby's chest just below the nipples and push inwards and upwards towards the head.

11. You can do up to five chest thrusts to try and dislodge the blockage.

12. If the blockage still hasn't moved repeat a two further cycles of five back blows and five chest thrusts and then call 999.

13. Continue with cycles of five back blows and five chest thrusts of each until the blockage clears or until emergency help arrives.

14. If the baby looses conciousness then begin the CPR sequence.

15. If you gave baby chest thrusts you must have them checked over by a doctor afterwards as there is a small chance of internal damage.

For the over ones up to the lovely stage of adolescence:

1. Check the child's airway, if you can see the obstruction then remove it, if not or it is too firmly lodged then you must proceed with back blows and abdominal thrusts.

2. Bend the child forwards and pace one hand on its chest under it's arm.

3. Use the other arm to give up to five sharp blows with the heel of your hand between the shoulder blades.

4. Check the mouth for any dislodged objects.

5.If the child is still choking it is time to give abdominal thrusts.

6. Place a clenched fist above the belly button.

7. Grab your fist with the other hand and pull inwards and upwards up to five times.

8. Check the mouth for dislodged objects.

9. If unsuccessful then repeat the cycle three times of five back blows and five chest thrusts, checking the mouth after each cycle.

10. Call 999 for an ambulance if this process has not worked.

11. Repeat the cycle of back blows and chest thrusts until emergency help arrives.

12. If the child looses conciousness then begin the CPR sequence.

For us larger than life people, aka adults:

1. Hit the adult firmly in the back with the heel of your hand.

2. If this fails to dislodge the object then it's time to give the Heimlich Manoeuvres.

3. Make a fist and place on the adults stomach just above the belly button. 

4. Grasp the fist with the other hand and proceed to pull sharply inwards and upwards.

5. If this fails to work then phone 999 and continue with cycles of five back blows and abdominal thrusts until emergency help arrives.

6. If the adult looses consciousness then begin the CPR sequence.

I have double checked all this information and have found that the Red Cross website offers invaluable tips, videos and question and answer sections on choking and other first aid that we should all be aware of. 

If you have the opportunity I would recommend taking a first aid class for babies/children/adults as it could help to save someone's life. You should be able to find all the details you need through your local council, health board, doctor or health visitor.

My Beautiful Family

Right off I go again :) Thanks for reading and I hope you have found this helpful! 

xxx

Number 15

My devoted readers...
It was weigh day yesterday and I am pleased to report that I lost a further 1.5lbs :) YEY! 18.5 In total, and stepping ever nearer to loosing 10% of my total body weight. I hope the doctor will be pleased with me and that my health problems will have reduced!

So the sun is still shining here and I am trying to make the most of it by spending as much time with the boys outside in it as possible. I played Kirby and basketball with Michael yesterday (my sporty son) which was so much fun and so nice to have one on one time with him and hear his infectious giggle! The boys all have swimming this evening after school so I will be there watching there strokes and reading on my kindle (If you haven't got one - go and treat yourself!).
 
I have discovered something about myself this last two weeks which I want to share - even if you think it's daft - well I am known as a very picky eater, I have got better over the years and now eat a much wider varied diet that I ever have before, but I have never been a fan of salad. I know, I am healthy eating and what better to bulk up my plate that with fresh salad, but it's not for me... That being said I have a terrible bad habit of saying I don't like something without actually trying it, yes like a 5 year old. Heehee. So on Mother’s day we went out for a lovely lunch and I ordered a honey and mustard chicken wrap - now it came with two items inside and with it which I wasn't anticipating, it had raw red onion and lettuce, neither of which I have eaten and liked before, I immediately looked at robs and explained that I couldn't eat it, to which he simply gave me a look of you have never tried it (I get that look a lot!)... now I was completely prepared to spit it out across the restaurant, but what entered my mouth was so tasty, and more-ish, and wonderful that I ate the whole lot AND finished before Rob and my children (something that never happens, they eat like hoovers) - so I discovered that I like lettuce, and not just iceberg but all types, and raw onion, who knew? - The past 2 days I have had a side salad on my plate with my supper - I am so healthy now! Heehee. I have yet to have the raw onion again but I intend to make fajitas tonight and will have it in them (and a side salad of course) - I'll keep you posted on my salad developments!

Now onto today's post subject...

I get so much positive feedback from my blog; it makes me want to write and share more! I am thoroughly enjoying doing it, and as things happen in my life I have noticed that I now store them in the vastness of my brain and categorize them for when I'm next blogging - noting side-line stories, feelings, locations and details to truly give you an insight into my life. 

I have been told by a few different people now that I should be writing as a job (whether they were simply being polite is yet to be seen) as a journalist, or column writer - a few have even said I should write a book. Well this all got me thinking about how happy the blog makes me, and the potential for more happiness. I have written a few short stories and some children's ones but never done anything with it. 

I could write an autobiography, I have certainly lived through enough life experiences to write one if not two, even at my young age, but to sum it up it would read... I had a two sided childhood - mum was always happy, dad was always cross - my adult life has had many, MANY up's and downs especially in the last ten years from loss and grief to giving birth to 3 beautiful boys, from having money to having none, from horrid people being the burden of our existence to cutting them out and being all the better for it, getting diagnosed with  depression an gaining weight to making a positive step and trying to lose it and feel better, and from feeling like nothing was ever going to go our way to living the happy ever after regardless. But, it's nothing that people haven't heard before and I think I would rather tell you snippets on here than in a book. It feels more personal to me. I have also found that bookshelves over the last few years have become overcrowded with many books about peoples horrid childhoods, school experiences, jobs and lives in general and I just feel like we should be putting more positive things into the world than that. The past is the past, it should be left there, if you spend to long analysing it and looking back you will miss the now and ultimately affect your future. So an autobiography is not something I want to do anytime soon.

I could write fiction, romance, ghost stories, drama, crime, space adventures, but none of that really gets me pumped and wanting to write. My imagination is vast and ever changing, and more childlike in that it feels like it has infinite possibilities.

It would be amazing to be the next JK Rowling, Jeff Kinney or Roald Dahl - they are so talented, and I have enjoyed reading all their books for myself and my children. However it is more about the little people in my life that I want to write for: my boys, for their friends in school, for my extended family of niece’s nephews and friend's children.

I would love to have a series of children's books published for all the little ones to enjoy, and of course I would make them bilingual. I am quite artistic too and have done lots of drawings of my boys, and other such things as illustrations that could potentially book images. Maybe I will give it a go... There is a fabulous website that allows people to publish their own books, so for now I think I will concentrate on getting a series of children's ones together and trying to get them ready to be viewed by my critics/fans, who certainly aren't afraid to tell me the truth - my children :)  

I have so many ideas floating around in my head of girl and boy themed books, but ideally I would like one that both would enjoy reading or being read. My boys love being read to at bed time, but most of all they love my made up stories. They are stories which encompass versions of them as main characters and including what they have done in the day mostly, but thrown in for good measure are pirates, monsters, witches, fairies, flying cars and a whole manner of other things.  I sometimes think that my imagination is the part of me that hasn't yet grown up! I love to do voices and act out the books for the boys (I must add however that this is not helpful in making them sleepy) so audio books would also be something I would love to do.

So as I leave I hope I have given you another little insight into the mind of me - alas it is overflowing with ideas for everything ad there simply aren't enough hours in the day to complete them all - but I will make time for this, as well as the cleaning, and organising, and decorating, and cooking, and crafting, and exercising... heehee.

I hope you are all enjoying the sunshine as much as I, and if not, then when you get home today, take 15 minutes, sit outside in the sun, with a cup of tea, music in the background and just read to yourself. You'll feel so much more refreshed afterwards!

Thanks for putting up with my ramblings!

xxx

Number 14

Isn't this sunshine simply beautiful, inspiring, happiness creating and well overdue? It just makes everything feel better in my eyes - long may it continue this summer as I need to absorb some much needed vitamin d and sped as many hours as possible making memories for my children! Now onto Number 14.

I love to create!

It is so pleasurable to create something with your own hands instead of buying it. I don't do nearly enough and I have so many ideas in my head that are dying to be created!

Starting this week I  am ploughing all my energy into making my home perfect once again. As I have said previously I have let it go somewhat, as my concentration dwindles but I am feeling positive, happy and the sunshine has inspired me to get on with it! So tomorrow marks the start of a new routine fo me...

I am aiming to do as much housework as humanly possible between the hours of 9:00am and 2:30pm, including sorting, organising and de-cluttering the following rooms:

My bathroom is about a quarter of the way through it's transformation - we have yet to replace the floor, box in the pipes, replace the bath panel, put up the blind and install the cabinet with the new sink. As soon as this is done I am positive it will look amazing. We have already painted it, changed the toilet and added some accessories to brighten it up. Unfortunately I have absolutely NO IDEA how to do any of the jobs that are left so it comes down to when my extremely busy husband can do it for me... A challenge for next weekend I think! I will be of some use to this particular room this week though, as I am going to clean and de-clutter ready for the changes, and to make it easier for Rob's to complete.

My kitchen is in a similar state. There is a wall that needs wallpapering, a sink, cupboard and woktop to purchase and install and accessories to add. I have already managed to add some accessories, we have installed the new blind, hung a new canvas, installed new cupboard doors and handles and placed 2 new worktop. I know I am really good at shopping so I can purchase a cupboard, worktop and sink without to much bother - but the installation of them is another matter - maybe a job for Rob for the following weekend! I think I may try my hand at wallpapering though, I have watched Robs do it a few times so I am going to try it net week - but tomorrow I can make a start by de-cluttering and having a ruddy good clean in their to enable us to work in a clean space over the next 2 weeks.

Our living room is almost finished, it needs a final de-clutter which I will do tomorrow - the building supplies for upstairs need to be moved up there (hopefully to spur us on to actually do the work) - I need to purchase a mirror and make photograph print canvases for one of the walls, a general clean and hey presto finished. Before Christmas we wallpapered and changed the furniture and accessories, hung canvases, added a blind, a rug and changed the layout around so it really is looking wonderful. 

Hallway, stairs and landing, now they are a slight bone of contention as Robs and I can't agree on what to do - however we have re painted, hung beautiful photographs from Karol Gos Photography, installed a blind on the upper window. I do need to sort out all the shoes from under the stairs and also the paperwork/shelves section too. I would love to change the floor to oak effect laminate (our carpet is worn out), I also wan to get rid of our current storage - shelves and piling shoes on top of each other under the stairs - to removable cupboard storage on canasters like these. But until we have done the rest of the house I think I will simply do all my spring cleaning and then when we get to it I will bat my eyelashes, squeeze his bum and tell him we are having that storage! hehehe :) 

I intend also to spend a little while every day making some items for the house myself instead of buying - I have home-made canvases to make fr the living room and bathroom, I want to create some gorgeous wedding presents for friends of mine celebrating their nuptials this year, I want to start on the MANY projects that I want to do for the boys bedroom, but above all else I just want to finish making the house feel as homely as possible. I will be super mum!

This weekend was spent as a family, and it was so nice to not have to worry about appointments, or clubs, or sports. After a brief visit to Laugharne for a friend of mine, we spent the Saturday in St Davids, at Whitesands beach and exploring the historical Bishops Palace and St David's Cathedral. 

The boys loved walking around, looking at the tombs, and learning all about it, they were also very proud to know that that was where Daddy had had his graduation ceremony in 2008 and his prize giving (Apprentice of the Year) two years previous. 

Sunday was then spent clearing and sorting the gardn (it looks so much better now) and then we had a well deserved BBQ. We ended the day with fun at the park as a family, me teaching Mathew how to play badminton and tennis, Michael playing football with his daddy and all of us taking it in turns to play with Morgan on the slides, swings and various climbing frames, and we ended there with a family game of football. We haven't spent such a lovely afternoon/evening like that for some time and I must say the sunshine brought the best of us out and it was truly lovely.

So as you can see I have a pretty busy week ahead and I have a weigh day tomorrow (should go well I have done lots of exercise and eaten well - although I did treat myself to a small vanilla ice cream on the Saturday), so I am also looking forward to that!

Oh and I haven't even begun to tell you about the boys bedroom and ours... Well I will, but concentration is going to the areas most seen first... LOL

Thanks for reading again lovelies.

xx

Number 13

I have lots to talk to you about today, so let's get right on into it...

My nation's capital is a beautiful city, but alas I haven't visited nearly half enough. This is going to be remedied however by a fabulous girlie weekend on the 28th of April. Having had my boys young I didn't ever go on a weekend away with girls friends - but that is about to change. My wonderful husband is having the boys for a weekend all by himself so that I can go with his big sister Elin to Cardiff. I am super excited to have a little mini break from everything and all I will have to worry about is what outfit to buy! heehee. I am driving us up first thing in the morning where we will then 'shop till we drop' all around the city centre and it's fabulous mall's. We are then going to have an amazing dinner at Red Hot World Buffet - this restaurant's menu is absolutely amazing, you can eat dishes from nine different countries for only £14.99 and you can eat as much or as little as you like, from all these cuisines! I have never been but Elin assures me that it is amazing and I am going to be in food heaven - now don't go worrying your pretty little heads about my diet, I am still focussed and will be while I'm there, but I may let myself have a small dessert as a treat! After dinner we may go to some bar's or maybe do some dancing (which I absolutely love) and then it's back to our hotel The Dexby Town House - a gorgeous boutique guest house, newly renovated, 10 minutes outside the city centre (which also happens to be owned and run by Charlotte Church's parents!). A child free sleep, lie in and a lovely cooked breakfast the following morning then home, completely relaxed and ready for cuddles and kisses from my beautiful family  - Doesn't it just sound perfect!! 

 

Rob's sister Elin is my absolute best friend and has been for many years now. We met when Rob and I started dating and hit it off straight away. As we both became adults and had families we grew closer and now talk almost everyday. We have done many things together and always have so much fun and far too many giggles. The first time I met her I was 14 years old and I was invited over to her home for a picnic with Robs. She let me pick the tunes on her radio in the car and we talked about music and celeb gossip. I remember wishing I had a sister as cool as her (I'm an only child), and now I feel I can say I have :) She is wonderful - she always has a sympathetic ear for me and my moaning, and she knows how to snap me out of my low days. I can't wait to spend the weekend with her in Cardiff!! Woohoo! I hope the weather is nice for us...

The weather here appears to be picking up and it's making me long for the summer months. Some of my favourite memories are of spending long warm evenings playing in the garden with my family and eating BBQ food, long walks at sunset on the beautiful local beaches. Don't you just feel happier when the sun is shining? I always do - the winter months always feel so drawn out and miserable. I love seeing the flowers in full bloom, the bright blue skies and seeing little ones in summer dresses and short trousers. I long to wear summer dresses, flip flops and sunglasses, and let the sun highlight my hair. Not long to wait now!

Today I happened to be in Haverfordwest (the nearest big town) with some time to kill, so decided to walk around the shops with my husband. He asked if I wanted to go in anywhere specific and I mentioned looking at clothes in Evans, but just before we got to it I realised that even though I love the clothes in there - I no longer need to shop in there - I now fit in the majority of high street shops. Needless to say I was elated and jumped about a bit at the realisation. We then went into another clothes shop and I was able to pick out anything and try it on - it was such a wonderful feeling! 17lbs so far - I am having a good week to so far so I am looking forward to weigh day again on Monday. I am getting ever closer to seeing 10% of my overall body weigh disappearing - 6lbs to go...

This brings me on to talk about our good friend Hefin's wedding. It feels so close now, and so long ago since he proposed, the reality is that it isn't that long, but time just seems to be flying at the moment. He is getting married in the absolutely stunning Gellifawr Hotel. It will be the first time I have been to a wedding with a wedding breakfast and I am so excited! His bride to be Tracy I'm sure is going to look stunning in her dress and I can't wait to see how handsome my husband looks in his best man suit! I have yet to buy a dress for the occasion as I am still slimming down in size, but crikey I am so excited to be able to wear something and feel comfortable and not whale like. I am sure the day/night is going to go off without a hitch and I am really looking forward to it.

I have been baking today for a friend of mine and have come to the realisation that creating your own recipe is an art form, but well worth the end results. Today I baked white chocolate and raspberry sponge cake, which I will then fill with white chocolate ganache and raspberry coulis - decadent and delicious. As a family we all tried it and it was so wonderful - you get the sweetness of the white chocolate immediately followed my the smooth flavour of it, and then the after taste is of sweet raspberries - this is one I am so excited to make again and is completely my own recipe... maybe I'll share it with you sometime... :D

Finally, I want to share with you the item on the top of my most wanted list and how it got there - I parked outside Jago, a brilliant little shop in Narberth (also in Tenby), and a tin sign caught my eye from the doorway... a tin sign I hear you say, well here is why - When I was a little girl I had a mug that when the bottom was in the light it would sing 'You are my sunshine', which always made me smile. My favourite person Nanna and I used to sing it together too and more recently, knowing how much I love it, if I am very down, Rob's takes me in his arms and sings it to me. Well this tin sign has it written on it in a gorgeous font, and I think it would be perfect for my kitchen! 

Signing off for now lovelies - hehe excuse the pun!.

Thanks for reading!

xx

Number 12

Just a quickie today folks...

My youngest son Morgan had his long awaited fifth birthday on Saturday, he had been counting down for weeks, and I am thrilled to say he enjoyed every second. 

We had a lovely, all be it brief, morning with their daddy - who had to leave to go to  Ffos Las in Llanelli - and opened his mountainous pile of presents, then off to Grandma's for more unwrapping fun. 

It was then party time and crikey did they enjoy. Eight children from his school tuned up and enjoyed the delights of the soft play area (I must say I was a little jealous that I wasn't small enough to go in myself), pass the parcel and face painting too. 

My close friend Karol Gos was also there in his capacity a photographer to capture all the magic for Rob - I get the photo's back on Wednesday, and I can't wait! We then all went to the dinning area for a lovely hot buffet lunch, jelly and ice-cream and cake, of course. 

The party bags, gifts, and Heatherton mascot Freddy the Fox came out for cuddles. All in all I must say it was perfect - nothing could of been any better.

Morgan on the way home from his party - all tuck-erred out!

We ended the day in McDonald's - Morgan's choice, then home for cuddles, more cake and bedtime. 

I hope you have my photos - oh and in other news I lost 2lbs this week, so 17 in all :) I have also gone down a dress size to an 18 - go me and to top off a wonderful week Wales won the RBS Six Nations rugby tournament!

Back soon!

xxx

Number 11

Being a mum...

I have been a mum since I was a toddler. Not in the conventional sense of the word, but emotionally and responsibly. It has always been such a big part of my life, and the only job I ever really wanted to do.

My earliest memories of being a mum were when I was about two or three years old, it was to a plastic baby doll that I would bath. Nothing else really, but I knew it needed to be clean. I wasn't a very 'girlie' girl when I was younger, I was almost a tom-boy of sorts - mainly as my dad had refused for me to have pink clothes or be girlie, it was overalls and helping him in the garage most of the time. He was always dirty, as he was a mechanic, and so my mum was forever washing his clothes -  this meant being clean seemed like the right thing to do with my baby.

My cuddly toys were next. I had hundreds, no exaggeration. Initially they were all named after me (that's what mum's did), so I had at least 50 called Sammy, oddly enough I hate being called that now. They were all loved, cuddled, tucked in and read too. Played with relentlessly and stories made up about them. I loved them all so much that most of them are still sat in the attic at my own mother's house, I simply can't bare to part with them. My mum was my best friend at this age and always encouraged my made up games and imagination as much a possible. It helped to take away from the horrible side of childhood that came from my father - this is another reason I think, that being a mum has always been so prominent and important to me, it's the best part of life- thanks mum!

When I was a little older I remember having our first pet - a gorgeous white rabbit... Sammy :) laughing*. I loved her as well and took on the role of mum again passionately. I helped to clean her out, feed her and of course give her cuddles. It felt so good to be giving my love to something, something that was mine and no one else's. This to me was what it felt like to be a mum.

School brought in a different, but nonetheless more important aspect of being a mum for me. I had many friends as I progressed thorough primary school, but my role in their lives was always the same. I was the peace maker, the one to sort out arguments, the go between, the one to hug if you were sad, the one who would always play with you if no-one else would. I helped with school work, homework, projects, tidying or simply a shoulder to cry on if something was upsetting. I remember dealing, from a young age, with family problems of my friends, with a sympathetic ear and letting them know I was always there no matter the circumstance. To this day I am still friends with most of the children from primary school - many of us are mum's/dad's now and we share a different kind of bond, but I will always have these early memories.

As a child I was always on the move - eight times in all to date (six of those up to the age of 12). This meant that my neighbourhood friends fluctuated a lot. Interestingly however, they were nearly always boy friends - I can hear seven year old me saying 'boys that are friends, not boyfriends!' to my other  little friends in school - I think I was able to 'mother' them more than my female friends The first was my best friend for about seven years, as he happened to live next to us, luckily for me, twice. My mothering instinct came to the fore with him regularly as he seemed to be terribly accident prone - he was very adventurous so was forever falling off bikes, climbing frames, home-made contraptions, as I stood and watched I might add, and breaking bones. This lead to endless school holiday days looking after him, fetching, carrying and keeping him company. These were some of the happiest times of my life as I felt so at ease in this role. 

When we moved for the sixth time,  and as I said goodbye to my best fiend I was happy to see that I was now living by the next two who I was already very close to in school. As we were now twelve we were starting to 'court' the opposite sex so that brought a whole host of new motherly challenges for me. I relished solving their girlfriend woes, fixing their little broken hearts and helping them be 'smooth' with them by telling them how our clever female brains worked. We were so close, this is the first time I felt platonic love for someone other than family, they were like brothers to me. I loved these two more than anything and they made so many happy memories for me. When they felt pain or anguish so did I, when they were happy I shared in it. I wanted to make them smile, ease their pain and be there 24 hours a day. In hindsight now I was much older then my 12 years intellectually which I think also progressed the mother in me. We are all still friends now but alas not as close, I do still however love them both very much.

At 14, I met the love of my life, my husband. I had progressed to secondary school and was still mothering all my friends, quashing their fears and helping wherever I could, but with Rob it was different. He is my first real love. I do have to admit to mothering him too though as he had always lacked that side in his childhood unfortunately. Nevertheless was wonderful even at that age (like me he had turned the negative into positive) but birthdays and Christmas was something that didn't get made a fuss of. Not one year did Father Christmas ever bring him what he wanted, and his birthdays were an excuse for a BBQ with his parents friends, never his. This became my mission, other than showing how much I loved him every possible second of our lives together, I wanted to show him what a mum was supposed to be. So before our children came along I spoilt him, looked after him, loved him, and been there for him. He has never seen me as a mother figure, but I felt like I was able to be both - I could be his girlfriend and then when he needed it, a bit extra.

Mathew, Michael and Morgan are how I really became a mum and finally cemented my role. I was 17 when I had Mathew, and I can honestly say I wasn't too young, I was ready, I was eager and I wanted him so badly as did Rob. As I said earlier I have always been older than my years so I hope you understand that I am not condoning teenage pregnancy, but simply highlighting my experience. I used all my life experience to shape how I am as a mum. I have made it my life's work to make sure they are happy, carefree (to a certain extent), secure, trusting, safe and loved. I believe I have achieved this so far, but I couldn't of done it without any of the above experiences. 


I have to thank my mum for being the best mum a child could want, Rob for being the most important and wonderful person in my life, my Nanna for being everything I want to be to my children and my children for cementing that I have the best job in the entire world, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you -  men, women, children, elderly, lovely and nasty. You have all helped shape a mother's life, and make her the woman she is, so today I give thanks to you all!!

I hope you have enjoyed this post everyone.

xxxx

Number 10

Hey y'all :)

Let's get straight into it, shall we?!

When I was younger I was always performing in something or other - school plays, concerts, choir performances, eisteddfods and god only knows what else (I remember once having to be a seal and flap about on the floor for a performance art piece... um - WHAT?). 

My mum encouraged, supported and took me to everything, always sat diligently in the many boring audiences, never complaining, and like most of the other parents took hundreds of pictures - mainly for bribery purposes I'm sure. I love to look at them, seeing all the hilarious and embarrassing costumes, remembering the fun and laughter I shared with my friends. My children and family also enjoy looking at them, and taking the mickey, as do our new friends and the old ones that I made the memories with.

The point I am getting at (see I did have one) is that my childhood wasn't censored!

Shouldn't I have second thoughts about posting pictures of my boys?  About sharing the images with strangers? Shouldn't I be more protective?

I have asked myself these questions over and over.

But I am yet to come up with an answer that comprehensively answers these questions, it's not as simple as it looks. But at the same time I haven't stopped me sharing photos of my gorgeous little ones. This is because regardless of all the unanswered questions, I can say with every fibre of my being that I know I am acting within reasonable bounds of care when I share my children with the world. I want to share with you now, why? Why do I post them for the world to see?

I want to evoke the 'punctum' from my pictures. Now I know most of you will have no idea what that is (neither did I when I stated writing), it can be the new thing we learn today, but if you already knew then kudos!

"Robert Barthes, the French theorist, studied many things in his life, one being photography. He distinguished between the studium - elements of a photograph that provoke an interpretive (cultural, social, political) response – and the punctum of a photograph – the element of a photograph that punctures, or wounds. The punctum, in other words, provokes an emotional response in the viewer by establishing a direct relationship between the viewer and the subject of the photograph"

Taken from the blog : Her Bad Mother

The punctum sum's up so well why I share, I want you to feel it from my images, the same way I do with yours.

When I look at your photographs I see them the same as you do - your child through your eyes, and I am punctured by that moment, that fleeting moment - of connection. I then feel that I understand you, as I understand your love for your child. We then share that experience of inexplicable, intense love. I want to share my own experience of that love and so - I share my pictures.

I do not profess to be a great photographer, nor do I own a super duper camera. it is simply me, my iPhone/webcam/adopted digital camera and my family. I take photos for memories, for happiness, for poignancy. I take them to make myself feel better on a bad day, or to remind me of what I have and that they are mine, forever. I take them for you, to show you the wonders that I can't do justice with words. 

I want to make you smile, suddenly, involuntarily - at the positions my children ended up in at a sleepover. 

I want your heart to fill with joy and happiness, the same as Michael felt when he finally became the big brother. 

I want my photos to help you remember the moments you have had with your family - every bubble bath hair-do, every ice-cream smile every momentous first.our own love forograr children.

I hope that you'll see my children through my eyes, know my love for them and recognise it as your own love for your children.

I want you to be punctured!

That felt so good to say. 

xxx

Number 9

Howdy!

So this week I didn't loose any weight... but I didn't put on either! YEY! I had 2 days this week where I felt I over ate, I still had the super healthy food but I felt that I ate to much - my portions crept up on me. I also haven't been out waking the dogs as much as my cold is still horrendous so all in all I am very happy!

I did make my dad's, now famous, stew - it didn't taste as nice as his, but crikey it hit the spot! I even have enough left for lunch, and all 4 boys loved it too!!

So again I am beaming with pride at my 7 year old Michael. On the weekend he managed to play in 2 games of rugby and scored a try!! Woop! Then in school they had the Clunderwen area eisteddfod and he represented the school in the singing competition singing - 'Siom'. He was wonderful, note perfect and on the beat. I thought he deserved to place, but alas it was not to be. He was, however, amazing and I even have the video to share with you :) Also as a side note a quick well done to 2 of my friends daughters that sang the same song for their schools - they were also brilliant!!

Cute right?!

So I am still making progress on Morgan's birthday cake, I am currently working on Ben Elf and Team Umizoomi. I have finished the Peppa Pig family and Princess Holly :) Now if you haven't got children that will all sound very very odd to you, but I can assure you that these are real characters! If I have time tonight I may even make Wilson the Chuggington train - heehee fun filled evening ahead!

On the weekend my car went in for an MOT at our local Kwik-fit centre, now to say it failed is an understatement! The examiner was sooooo picky! I know they have to be, it's their job, but I have never know anyone fail a car because the indicators are slightly different shades of orange, or that the passenger windscreen wiper smears slightly by the bottom of the screen... ARGH! It failed on a break leak which is fair enough , which brings me to how wonderful my husband is. It amazes me that he can turn his hand to anything. He is a fully qualified builder and has no experience when it comes to repairing cars (other than watching his father for years fixing all the family ones and the numerous racing cars that were being used at the time), so to save us the extortionate £300+ fee to have the work done there, we purchased all the parts (thanks to my brother in law's brilliant discount) and he is steadily repairing it. I mean, I could take one look at it and have absolutely no idea, but he just takes it in his stride! I am so proud of him for being able to save us all that extra money! Thanks Babes :) Finger's crossed it will pass now on Tuesday...

Well today I have been craving every possible unhealthy food imaginable. I'm not sure why, but I want to eat everything, even things I don't like! Hehe. You'll be pleased to hear however that I stuck to my diet, and while my hubby had kebab, chips and scampi, I had grilled chicken and mushroom rice. I did treat myself to clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1Pockmargin-left: 1em; text-align: r and let me tell you - MMM!!! They hit the spot and were so much better for me than a packet of dark chocolate digestives.

I visited a friend today (he has just bought his first home with his fiancée) and it made me want to do some more D.I.Y. Rob's and I made good headway on the house a few months back,we completely re-did the living room and purchased all the bits to finished the kitchen, bathroom and our bedroom, but we both got super busy and it kind of went on stop, so I am planning to make a schedule to finish the rest of the house and restore some order! I do need to crack on with the housework though to make sure we aren't cluttered whilst D.I.Y-ing. I'm still not great at that yet - tomorrow I promise I am going to clean the bathroom from top to bottom, and do 3 loads of washing :) 

To end I would like to share some pictures of Michael playing rugby this weekend...

Catch you next time!

xx